You know how we like to make collages as part of getting a vibe for a new brand’s personality? Now DK is writing stories, too.
DIARY OF A [ ] USER
by DK copywriter Jace Krause
PAUL
Woke up around 11 am, I think. The bedside clock is out of batteries again so I’m basing the time on what’s playing on TV. I thought I lost my cell too, but it turned up under a stack of CDs near the stereo. 11:23 am. Late for work again. Met up with the band last night for “a” drink.
Nowhere in our past did we ever just have “one” drink after saying we would. And for some reason we always get some crazy server who talks us into buying shots. Then we order food and before I know it, one drink has turned into a $100 bar tab. This is why I can’t have nice things.
And now I’m hungover and late for my shift at the restaurant. Zeke is out of town, which means the kitchen will be short-staffed, which means it will be busy. Fuck. I need a new job. Partly because I spend too much money on alcohol and partly because I want a new tattoo. Amy was right… they are addicting.
Speaking of Amy…
AMY
I called the restaurant to see if Paul was there. I NEED to talk to him now. Things at the office are utterly mundane. Maybe he can get a drink after his shift, which apparently he was late for again. Hope he doesn’t get fired. At the very least I’ll see him at the show tonight.
I went to a new boutique last night and bought this vintage-y dress that I’ll probably wear tonight. It was $120 but so so perfect. A little too risque for the office… I’m sure the Hags there would shower me with more unappreciative looks. What’s the office equivalent of spitting in someone’s soup? Maybe inserting obscene pictures into their yearly reports. Yes. That’s it. But then I’d get Bill in trouble, and I sort of like him. Actually most of the males there are nice.
I’m going to try Paul again at the restaurant. Maybe he’s still sleeping… I should call his cell. He really needs to get that alarm clock fixed.
PAUL
I rushed home after my shift to get ready for the show. I smelled like grease and mayonnaise. Dave wasn’t too mad about me being late, and luckily the place wasn’t too busy. It’s not that bad of a job I guess.
There was a bag from QFC in the doorway of my apartment. It had a note that said “Paul.” It was from Amy.
Batteries.
I love that woman.
Showered and shaved. Used the [ ] stuff again. I love that shit.
AMY
I had to pick up some things at QFC on my way home after work, so I bought some batteries for Paul. I finally talked to him in the afternoon and it sounded like he was doing okay. I dropped off the batteries at his apartment and went back to my place to get ready for the show.
A couple days ago Paul gave me this little tin can of hair stuff. It looks and smells amazing. I think I’ll give it a shot…
[ ] is a new line of beauty products for people like Paul and Amy. We’ll show you what DK’s brand identity design looks like as soon as it’s done.
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