Pic by Dawn Crawford
What a fun night!
Getting to be on stage for the biggest crowd of my life was… surprisingly calm! I had a great time while I was at it. That was a first for me, because usually I’ll freak out if stuff isn’t absolutely perfect.
I had a moment beforehand where I was tempted to do something bold. Leave my cheat sheet—a taped together list of top points on yellow Post-Its—backstage. In case I totally blanked.
Taking the red pill
Marketing writer Seth Godin once said somewhere that when you’re anxious you should consciously break the habit that enables the anxiety. Like, if you’re one of those people that obsesses about the lights being off every time you leave the house, maybe once just TRUST yourself that you TURNED THEM OFF and DON’T CHECK. It was hard for me to trust that I wouldn’t forget something, but then, I realized, “Hey, I’m in Raleigh. This is my home turf.” I stuffed the little notes into my sleeve. I wouldn’t be able to see them, but I’d know they were there. Somewhere between Leaving It Behind and Not Leaving It Behind. A .357 on a scale of 0 to 1. (Note to people who weren’t there: In my talk, I shared how fuzzy logic is based on the idea that we can decide stuff on scales that are not binary.)
But there’s something else.
Another reason I was less freaked out.
Mere minutes before getting to Lincoln Theater in Raleigh yesterday evening, I got to see something truly epic.
Meeting August
A newborn.
My little nephew, August Kohli, is now six DAYS old.
I think all the beauty and joy, mixed with wonder and sheer fear of the way it is to hold a newborn… the not-knowing, and yet wondering what it all means… that stuff? That’s what I wanted to talk about.
Gray space. Fuzzy logic. Not having all the answers.
If seeing a newborn doesn’t make you ask those questions, shoot.
Nothing will.
So fantastic to meet people like Durham-based web developer and fellow art/math geek Katie Benedetto in real life. Shout-outs to Tara Connolly, Ginny Skalski, and Karyn Traphagen for being there, too. Nice work to the Ignite Raleigh organizers, too: Ryan Boyles, Damond Nollan, and Tim Arthur. (They pulled it together in 2 weeks!)
And to our emcees, Page Crawford and Jake Fehling:
Hosts for Ignite: Page and Jake were SO fantastic at helping speakers feel more at ease. As they’d say in Ireland, “Fair play to them.”
Nerd women!
I also got to meet Charlotte Moore, whose told me she did an Ignite talk about how it’s okay to be a nerdy woman.
“Yes,” I said. Shortly I’d be up there talking about equations, Planck, probabilities, fuzzy logic rule sets, and Marcel Duchamp. (Had to throw in some art nerdery, right?) The talk with Charlotte helped me see there IS an audience for this stuff.
I was really glad when I checked into Twitter afterwards, and discovered I had four new followers.
ALL of them are women.
My nerdy slides — all draw in Sharpie — will follow sometime. And they’re going to have the video tape recording out eventually, too. Will keep you updated!
Thanks again, Ignite Raleigh!
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